What Age Should a Child Get a Phone?

Quick answer: in my view, not before about eight, and only once your child can understand what a phone is for. Before you hand it over, talk with him: is it for fun, for school, for staying in touch? A phone is a means, not an end.

Parents ask me this more than almost any other question about screens. There is no official age. Different countries, schools and doctors say different things. So I will give you my view, and the reason behind it.

My view: around eight, and not before he understands

I wouldn’t put a phone in a child’s hands before about eight years old. Not because of the number itself, but because of what usually comes with it: a child who can understand.

A phone given to a child who doesn’t understand what it is for becomes the center of his day. A phone given to a child who understands it can stay what it should be: a tool.

The talk before you hand it over

Sit down with your child before the phone comes out of the box. Ask, and let him answer:

1. “What do you want it for?” Games? Videos? Calling me? Friends? School?
2. “What is a phone for, really?” Help him see three jobs: entertainment, work and learning, and staying in touch. All three are fine. None of them is the whole day.
3. “Is a phone the goal, or a way to reach a goal?” A phone is a means, not an end. It helps you call me when you’re late, look something up for school, talk to your grandmother. It is not the thing you live for.

Then agree, together, what it will be used for, and when. Write it down. A teenager version is in the phone agreement, and the same idea works, more simply, for an eight- or nine-year-old.

Start small

The first phone doesn’t have to be the best phone.

• Start with less. Calls and messages first. Apps later, one at a time, as trust grows.
• Keep it in shared rooms. Not in the bedroom, not at the table, not at night.
• You hold the passwords at first. Tell him that, openly. It is safety, not spying.
• It sleeps outside the bedroom. For everyone in the house, the adults too.

Five signs your child may be ready

1. He can tell you, in his own words, what he wants it for.
2. He keeps small agreements already: bedtime, homework, screen time ending.
3. He tells you when something online upsets him.
4. He can stop a game when asked, without a war.
5. There is a real need: walking to school alone, a club, a parent who travels.

If most of these are missing, wait. Waiting a year is not a punishment. It is preparation.

If he already has one, and too early

It is not too late. Have the talk now. Agree on what the phone is for, take apps away that don’t fit, and set the times. Expect a hard first week. Then it settles.

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Next step

Write the agreement together. A two-sided agreement to read, change and sign. Phone agreement → Screen plan →