Children

Warning Signs a Child Is Being Harmed: What to Notice, and What to Do Next

Signs that a child may be being abused or harmed, in their body, behavior and mood, why one sign alone proves nothing, how to ask gently, and who to call if you're worried.

By MOH. SAMY · Reviewed 3 November 2026 · 3 min read

If a child is in immediate danger, call your local emergency number now.

Most children who are harmed don’t say so in words. They’re too young, too frightened, too confused, or they’ve been told to keep it secret. Often, the person harming them is someone they know.

So children tell in other ways: with their body, their behavior, their sleep, their mood. Your job is not to become a detective. Your job is to notice a change, stay calm, and get help.

One sign alone proves nothing

Every sign below can have an ordinary cause: a new school, a move, an illness, a new sibling. What matters is a change from how your child usually is, several signs together, or a sign linked to a particular person or place.

What you might notice

In their body

  • Injuries that aren’t explained, or the explanation doesn’t fit.
  • Pain, soreness, bleeding or infections in private areas.
  • Wetting or soiling again after being dry for a long time.

Any physical sign in the private area: take your child to a doctor.

In their behavior

  • Fear of a particular person, or not wanting to go to a particular place or be left with someone.
  • Going back to younger behavior: clinging, baby talk, thumb-sucking.
  • Sexual knowledge, words or play that doesn’t fit their age.
  • New secrets, new gifts or money from someone, without explanation.
  • Becoming aggressive, or very quiet and withdrawn.

In their mood and sleep

  • Nightmares, trouble sleeping, fear of the dark or of bedtime.
  • Sudden anxiety, sadness, or flashes of anger.
  • In older children: self-harm, running away, drinking or drugs, or falling behind at school.

In the adults around them

Pay attention, too, to an adult or older child who:

  • wants a lot of time alone with your child;
  • gives gifts or special treatment and asks for secrecy;
  • ignores your child’s “no”, or your rules about your child;
  • finds reasons to be around your child when you’re not.

What to do with what you notice

1. Write it down

Dates, what you saw, what your child said, in their exact words. Keep it somewhere private. Patterns become clear on paper. The Tonight’s log can help.

2. Ask gently, once, without leading

Choose a calm, ordinary moment. Use open questions:

“You’ve seemed worried lately. Is something bothering you?”

“Is anything happening that you don’t like?”

Don’t ask questions that put words in their mouth, like “Did Uncle X touch you?” If something has happened, a child’s own words matter, including to the police later.

If they tell you something, see If a Child Tells You They Were Abused.

3. Keep the child away from the person you’re worried about

Quietly, without accusing anyone in front of the child.

4. Get advice, even if you’re not sure

You don’t need proof to ask for help. Call a child protection helpline and describe what you’ve noticed. They can tell you what to do next. See the list below.

5. Don’t confront the person yourself

It can put the child at more risk and make an investigation harder. Let the professionals do that part.

Sources

Next step

If something is worrying you, write down today what you’ve noticed, with dates. Then call a child protection helpline for advice. What to say → Tonight’s log →