Should My Teenager Get a Job? What Work Teaches That Lectures Can't

The short answer: a teenager should work, any work, even simple work. A holiday job teaches keeping to times, handling money, and where money comes from and where it goes.

My view is simple: a teenage boy should work. Any work, even simple work. A cashier in a restaurant, help in a shop, a delivery round, a few weeks with a relative who has a trade. It doesn’t matter what. It matters that he does it.

Many parents feel this is unkind, or that their child should only study. I see it the other way. A job in the holidays gives a teenager things that no lecture at home can give him.

What work teaches

Time that belongs to someone else. At home, “I’ll do it later” costs little. At work, there is a time to arrive and a time to leave, and someone is waiting. Keeping to set times for arriving and leaving is the first lesson of adult life, and he learns it best from someone who is not his mother or father.

Where money comes from. A teenager who has only ever received money thinks it comes from a wallet. When he has stood for six hours to earn it, he understands what the trainers he wants really cost.

Where money goes. Let him decide what to do with his pay. Some of it he saves, some he spends, and he sees both. A mistake with a small wage at sixteen is far cheaper than one with a salary at twenty-five.

That he can. For a boy who is often in trouble at school, or who has heard “lazy” too many times, being trusted by an employer and doing the job well can change how he sees himself.

Respect for people. Serving people teaches him how it feels to be served badly, and well.

Not instead of school

The job is for the holidays, or a few hours that don’t take from his studies. It is not a way out of school. It is a way into responsibility.

How to start

1. Talk about it as an agreement, not an order. “This summer I want you to work. Let’s think together about what.” Let him choose from what is possible.

2. Start simple and close to home. A family business, a neighbour’s shop, a relative. Let the first job be one where someone will teach him.

3. Let him handle it himself. He asks, he arrives, he deals with his boss. You don’t phone to complain on his behalf.

4. Agree a saving rule before the first pay. For example: a part saved, a part for something he wants, a part for something he gives. He chooses the parts. You hold him to them.

5. Ask, don’t lecture. At the end of each week: “What did you learn about work this week?” Then listen.

Check the rules where you live

Countries and states have their own rules about the age teenagers can work, the hours they can do, and the kinds of work allowed. Check your local rules before he starts, and make sure the place is safe and the adults there are trustworthy.

Daughters too

Everything here applies to daughters as well. A teenage girl who has earned her own money, kept to her own hours and been trusted by an employer carries herself differently. She knows her worth, and she is less likely to look for it from the wrong people. You are preparing a son or a daughter for the workplace, the university and the family that come next.

If he refuses

Some teenagers resist at first. That is normal. If he refuses everything, ask yourself honestly whether he carries anything in the house at all. A boy who has never been expected to carry anything finds every first responsibility heavy. Start smaller: a real job at home, every day, for a month. Then try again.

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Next step

Check the balance. Is giving going too far? A few short questions about your child, one step for tonight and a 7-day sheet. Balance Check →