After separation
Two homes
We separated. How do I keep the children out of it?
13 articles. Read one, try its small step for a week, and notice what changes.
- Children Caught Between Two Homes After DivorceAfter separation, children may carry more than a bag between two homes. Why feeling caught in the middle may matter more than the separation itself, and what may help.
- Parallel Parenting or Co-Parenting? When Every Message Becomes a FightIf every message with your child's other parent turns into an argument, cooperative co-parenting may not be possible right now. What parallel parenting is, and how it may protect your child.
- Co-Parenting Message Examples: Brief, Informative, Friendly, FirmBefore-and-after examples of messages between separated parents, rewritten to be short, factual and calm. Based on Bill Eddy's method for high-conflict communication.
- Meltdowns After the Other Parent's House: Transition DaysYour child comes back from the other parent's home and falls apart. Questions parents often ask about handover-day meltdowns, and what may make the change between homes gentler.
- Co-Parenting When the Other Parent Never AnswersMessages left on read, plans never confirmed, a child waiting at the window. What you can and cannot control when your child's other parent does not respond, and how to protect your child in the gap.
- Different Rules at the Other Parent's House: What to DoAt one house bedtime is eight, at the other it is whenever. A calm checklist for parents in two homes: what to let go, what to agree on, and how to talk to your child about two sets of rules.
- Introducing a New Partner to Your Children After DivorceThinking of bringing a new partner into your children's life after divorce? A checklist for before you choose, the warning signs to watch, and what a stepparent should and should not be to your children.
- Living Alone After Divorce: A Letter to Separated DadsA letter to the father living alone after separation. Why staying present, materially and emotionally, matters more than winning the fight with your ex, and how to stay your children's father from a distance.
- Life After Divorce: When Family Looks Nothing Like You PlannedYou imagined one home, two parents, a full table. Now there are two homes, or one parent, or an empty chair. A reflective essay for mothers and fathers living a family life they never planned.
- My Teen Wants to Live With the Other Parent: What Now?"I want to live with Dad." Or "with Mum." For the parent who hears those words, a letter about the hurt, about listening to what is really being asked, and about putting your teenager's needs first.
- Holidays With Two Families: Sharing Time and Keeping the PeaceWhose family for the holiday? Whose traditions? Which grandparents? What to say, and what to avoid, when two families meet at holidays and big gatherings, for couples together and for parents in two homes.
- "You're Not My Real Dad!" What a Stepparent Can SayA stepchild shouts "You're not my real dad" or "You're not my mum." What the sentence is really saying, the reply that keeps both the truth and your place, and who should be doing the discipline.
- The Other Parent Didn't Show Up. What Do I Tell My Child?Your child waited by the window and the other parent never came. What to say that is true without destroying their picture of that parent, what never to say, and how to protect the next visit.