Topics that may interest you

Closest to you

• Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: A Practical GuideYou thought your parenting years were behind you. Now there are school runs and bedtimes again. A practical guide for grandparents raising grandchildren: the child's feelings, your own, and where to find support.
• Grandparents Breaking Your Rules? The Few That Cannot BendWhen grandparents spoil, undermine or simply do things differently, the fight is rarely about the sweets. How to agree on a few rules that matter, and let the rest be grandma's house.
• The Role of Aunts and Uncles in a Child's LifeThe aunt who listens, the uncle who teaches, the cousins who feel like siblings. How the wider family can support a child and a tired parent, and what to say, and avoid, when relatives help or interfere.
• When Grandparents Have a Favorite GrandchildOne grandchild gets the gifts, the praise and the attention, and another notices. How to raise favouritism with grandparents without a family war, and what to say to the child who feels left out.
• When the Nanny's Rules Are Not Your RulesA nanny, a nursery or a family carer who does things differently. A practical checklist for agreeing the rules that matter, and a calm way to talk about it.
• When a Relative Lives With You: Two Sets of Rules Under One RoofWhen a grandparent, aunt or uncle moves in, the house can suddenly have two sets of rules. Why the tension grows, and how to share a home without losing your place as the parent.

Anger, meltdowns and tantrums

• Meltdowns After the Other Parent's House: Transition DaysYour child comes back from the other parent's home and falls apart. Questions parents often ask about handover-day meltdowns, and what may make the change between homes gentler.

Limits: screens, money and the truth

• Holidays With Two Families: Sharing Time and Keeping the PeaceWhose family for the holiday? Whose traditions? Which grandparents? What to say, and what to avoid, when two families meet at holidays and big gatherings, for couples together and for parents in two homes.

Bedtime, mornings and school

• Different Rules at the Other Parent's House: What to DoAt one house bedtime is eight, at the other it is whenever. A calm checklist for parents in two homes: what to let go, what to agree on, and how to talk to your child about two sets of rules.

Talking with teenagers

• My Teen Wants to Live With the Other Parent: What Now?"I want to live with Dad." Or "with Mom." For the parent who hears those words, a letter about the hurt, about listening to what is really being asked, and about putting your teenager's needs first.

The two of you

• Introducing a New Partner to Your Children After DivorceThinking of bringing a new partner into your children's life after divorce? A checklist for before you choose, the warning signs to watch, and what a stepparent should and should not be to your children.

After separation

• Children Living Between Two Homes After Divorce: The Backpack, the Money and the HandoversAfter divorce, a child goes back and forth with more than a bag. The handovers, the money talk, the two sets of rules, and how to make life between two homes lighter.
• Parallel Parenting: How to Co-Parent When You Can't Talk Without FightingIf every message with your child's other parent turns into an argument, cooperative co-parenting may not be possible right now. What parallel parenting is, and how it may protect your child.
• Co-Parenting Message Examples: Brief, Informative, Friendly, FirmBefore-and-after examples of messages between separated parents, rewritten to be short, factual and calm. Based on Bill Eddy's method for high-conflict communication.
• Co-Parenting When the Other Parent Never AnswersMessages left on read, plans never confirmed, a child waiting at the window. What you can and cannot control when your child's other parent does not respond, and how to protect your child in the gap.
• Separated Dad, Living Away From Your Kids: A Letter on Staying Close From a DistanceA letter to the father living away from his children after separation. Visits, outings, an understanding with their mother, why the child must never carry messages, and why stubbornness costs you your children.
• Life After Divorce: When Family Looks Nothing Like You PlannedYou imagined one home, two parents, a full table. Now there are two homes, or one parent, or an empty chair. A reflective essay for mothers and fathers living a family life they never planned.
• "You're Not My Real Dad!" What a Stepparent Can SayA stepchild shouts "You're not my real dad" or "You're not my mom." What the sentence is really saying, the reply that keeps both the truth and your place, and who should be doing the discipline.
• The Other Parent Didn't Show Up. What Do I Tell My Child?Your child waited by the window and the other parent never came. What to say that is true without destroying their picture of that parent, what never to say, and how to protect the next visit.
• How to Tell Your Children You Are Separating, When the Two of You Can Barely TalkMost advice says sit the children down together, calmly, as a team. Most separating parents can't. A realistic guide to telling your children, what they need to hear, and the words to use.
• Separation Shows Who You Really AreA reflection for separating parents: why the way you part says more about your character than the years you stayed, and the questions to ask yourself before every message, every handover and every word about the other parent.

← Back to grandparent after a separation